Failures

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” FAILURE. This word has haunted me for as long as I can remember. I cannot vouch for having experienced many failures in life probably because I never tried anything that was specifically challenging or had the possibility of me failing at it. This led to me narrowing my choices down in terms of everything. Be it a top University, a Competitive exam, a talent competition or even relationships. I never looked beyond a certain point, almost as if I couldn’t achieve more than just what I think I deserved. I wouldn’t step into anything new until I know I’d ace it. This fear prevented me from trying that new piece of outfit I loved, that top University I wanted to apply to, that exam I wanted to crack and that relationship I wanted to hold on to. All because my mind kept telling me I will terribly FAIL at it and that people will judge me and that I will never meet some people’s expectations and that Ill embarrass myself and God knows the list goes on. I never tried because I feared I would fail. And as much as I’d like to say, I did it all by the end of it. I didn’t. So well here’s me today recognising this long existing fear in myself, wanting to try all that I never did and believing in “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”